Home   News   What we offer you   Quotes   Facts & Figures   Links   Contact Us	Quotes A story from a previous client and pictures of her beautiful children Our three children have all been born at home under the care of Elaine and Melanie. Each of their births were experiences full of wonder and I feel gave them the strongest, most loving start to their lives possible. Elaine, my primary carer, dealt with the issues and fears that emerge in pregnancy as they came up so that I was able to enjoy being pregnant, deal with the physical niggles, and focus on the developing secret life of the child inside me. I am sure my births would have been very different in a hospital environment. Our first child was 9lbs 14oz. I felt complete trust in Elaine and Melanie, and the comfort and love of home. My partner was enabled to help me to the full. Our second child was born in the water and Elaine enabled my 2 year old to be very much involved without distracting me. Our third child, who is now four months, also had a beautiful water birth and we held her floating for some time, she was very wide-eyed and alert. I do think that our babies have been particularly contented partly because of the nature of the pregnancies and births. Although we were very lucky to have uncomplicated births we felt with each child more aware of the potential for things not to be straight forward and that confirmed our decision to be in Elaine and Melanie's care. I never had to go to hospital but know we would have relied on their support heavily if we had had to or had anything not gone as we hoped. There were inevitably issues that emerged in the first weeks of our babie's lives that we had not thought about. We were given lots of information and helped to make decisions ourselves. With Elaine as our support person we were able to really enjoy those magical first few weeks. She helped me latch correctly, dealt with on-going questions about breast feeding (which occurred with each child), made us understand the long term importance emotionally and physically in the long term of a restful first few weeks and post-natal exercises. She was able to guide us in the treatment of our baby when she got a slight finger infection, paranoycia. We used calendula tincture and lavender oil and were able to avoid antibiotics. She provided reassurance about weight gain, decisions about inoculations, older children's emotions etc. As things were generally going well she was able to demonstrate baby massage and lend me books about the development of babies. The post-natal care is part of the whole. The pregnancy, birth and the child who needs to be cared for are all aspects of the same thing. So also in addition to the physical support required by the mother and baby there is the support required for all of the family emotionally. With this care all our children have had the beginning to their lives that we most wished for them. Shelley's homebirth story I never, ever saw myself as the sort of woman who'd have a homebirth, but after my first experience of labour - a miserable hospital birth - I knew something had to be different second time round. My first labour left me feeling disempowered and scared - very positive about my wonderful, supportive husband, utterly in love with my beautiful new son, but extremely negative about my own contribution to the process. When friends and family told me how well I'd done, I could feel a rising anger: 'I didn't do anything,' I would retort. 'Labour was done to me.' It had begun well, at home; with my husband and me in charge, it was mellow and intimate - no fear or panic. After admission to hospital, things went downhill. As the pain increased, my well-meaning midwife didn't help me take more active steps to cope. I perched on the edge of the bed under increasing stress as one epidural failed and then - hours later - a second only took initially on one side. When I wasn't dilating 'fast enough' I was told I had no choice but to have a hormone drip. Finally, my son was delivered by ventouse. Throughout, the message was consistent - I couldn't do this without medical help. For many months, I assumed I'd never have another child. When my son was a year old, I started wanting a second, but was very frightened about the birth. How could a second labour be different from the first? It had already been made clear to me that I wasn't capable of bearing the pain or delivering a baby without some serious, heavy-duty medical help. A friend had given me Melanie Milan's number and, though I was sure I didn't want a home birth, I called her anyway. 'I want to get pregnant again,' I told her. 'Is there any chance labour might be different a second time?' Melanie was confident that it could, and on the basis of that I did my first brave thing: I got pregnant again. What I really wanted was an ongoing relationship with the midwife who would be with me at delivery - something my sympathetic GP assured me the NHS couldn't provide. What I didn't want was a home birth (terrifyingly far away from the medical intervention I was sure I'd need), but since that was part of the package, I went along with it. Then a strange thing happened. As the weeks progressed, and my trust in Melanie grew, I started to buy into the idea of doing this at home. I began thinking longingly about cutting out the bumpy ride to hospital, about the joy of birthing a baby in its own bedroom, and about being tucked up in my own, familiar bed after the event. I began to enjoy a different midwife-client relationship, one which saw Melanie as an enabler, and me as the person in charge of my own body and choices. As I learned more about the ways in which I could be active rather than passive in labour, I began - almost - to believe Melanie when she said, 'It's not just that you can do this; I know you will.' And I did. I was the strong, brave person I never imagined I could be, and I got just what I ended up really wanting; not an easy labour (it took ages, it was hard work and it hurt!), but a labour directed by me, in which I learned to believe in the capacity of my body to do its thing. Melanie was there as a constant, non-intrusive support throughout, enabling me to make my own choices rather than imposing her agenda on the process. I needed gas and air for the last hour or so, but was never overwhelmed by the pain, and was astonished to find myself pushing my baby out into the world without having experienced a moment of misery. My second son was born in a birthing pool in his bedroom on a gorgeous autumn morning; the decision to do it that way is one of the best I have ever made. A birth plan and birth story from a first time mother Week 1 We found out that we were pregnant. We were so excited but what do we do next?????? We arranged to go and confirm things with the doctor and to our surprise all she said was " have you done a pregnancy test"? There was no other check and this was our first encounter with the NHS. Weeks 2-10 We guessed a lot and did not find much satisfaction from the people that we had contact with. We read a lot and started to think of alternative ways of completing the pregnancy. We also heard mixed stories from friends and family. Week 11 The first NHS check. Lots of paper work and the first chance we had of seeing our new baby on the screen from the scan. Oh what an experience and such humbling joy!! In our discussions the midwife told us about some of the other options and we wanted to find out more!!!! I started reflexology treatments once a week. Week 18 We had by now decided that we were committed to a natural birth and we were looking into potential helpers in and outside the NHS. We have been surfing all the "independent midwife" websites and have done some provisional telephone calls. Week 20 20 weeks scan and here again we were just awe struck by the pictures of our baby and the realisation that our dream is real and alive. We wanted to make our baby's arrival as peaceful and welcoming as possible. We had read more and were really interested in water birth at home. We wanted this new experience to be natural and stress free. We did some research via the web and made contact with Melanie Milan and Elaine Batchelor: Thames Valley Independent Midwives. Our early conversations were very informative Elaine and Melanie were very enthusiastic, confident and professional. They really helped us in an unbiased way to commit ourselves to have a water birth at home. Week 21 We tell the NHS that we are going private and will have Melanie by our side. They cut links with us very quickly in a releaved way. Less demand on an overstretched service. The antenatal class is also a challenge as we are the only ones planning a home birth and certainly the only ones to consider waterbirth. The classes offered us very little information with these dimensions. We feel a little alone. Week 23 We find a home birth class in Hampton Hill with a group of people that have similar ideas to us. We also meet Sarah Spoor, the lady from whom we hired the pool at babybliss-uk@hotmail.com Week 26 Melanie and Elaine visit us and they get us on the route to a home birth. They interview us and we interview them and we feel they are the right team to help us. We were a little late in contracting them and so we have a bit of catching up to do. They plan to visit us every week now and at long last we feel that we have someone to guide us through our first pregnancy - what a relief! Weeks 27-37 Things seem to be dragging a little now. We have a routine of meeting Melanie once a week, visiting the home birth group every month. Weekly antenatal classes keep us in contact with a group of people who are all expecting babies at around the same time. We have a nice routine. Phil's working, while I finished work at week 37. This is a strange sensation, giving up something that has until recently taken up a lot of my life! Now we are focused on the baby. NB at week 35 we moved out of our house to allow building works to start. We intend to do everything in one go. We rented a local house. Week 38 We have agreed to do a water birth to help with the pain relief. We collect it and assemble it in the house. The time spent in the pool trying it out was very relaxing and reassuring. I intend to use it every day. Melanie was a great help in making sure that I was doing the appropriate exercises. The water provides a great stabilising feeling. Week 40 Our baby is due this week but nothing is happening?!?! Melanie advised me to do different exercises e.g: climbing the stairs like a crab!!! I am drinking different herbal teas. I also start taking homeopathic remedies under her supervision. Still nothing happens - so more exercises. Mum and Dad arrive from France and Melanie told us that this may be distracting - I need to concentrate on "having a baby". Week 41 We were getting frustrated and started to be a little anxious. We didn't want to have to go to hospital and have all our dreams dashed. In France the babies are only due in week 41 - why the difference here we ask!?!?! Week 42 At long last on the Friday at 11.00pm(10 days after the due date) the contractions started and lasted until Saturday lunch time. I went for a snooze due to a light night's sleep!!! In the evening around 20.00pm the contractions started again. Melanie came a hour later and did an internal check. I was 2 cm dilated. Great, at least something was happening. At 23.00pm I went in the pool and Melanie went home to have some rest. We spent the whole evening in the pool and the contractions were now in full swing. I was suffering but the water was helping. As things went on, the pain grew and we had to call Melanie back. She arrived at 1.30am on Sunday and did a check on me. I was only 4cm dilated and we were expecting a long night. Having Melanie by my side I felt secure. Phil was fantastic by helping with the breathing and to go through the pain. I was more confident staying in the pool now that Melanie was with us. I felt my waters break (even being in the water), the baby's head started to descend, the contractions were at that time unbearable, eventually I accepted air and gas to reduce the pain. At first this was not useful as I couldn't synchronise my breathing with the contractions. Things were moving much faster now. Phil and I were concentrating on getting the breathing right, ensuring I was still drinking water to avoid dehydration . Melanie was checking the baby heart beats with her monitor and giving supervisory advice. I could feel the baby's head ready to come. After 3 to 4 pushes her head was out and with the following contraction her all body was floating under the water. Melanie was giving the final instructions . It was 4.02am and we were more than proud parents! What fantastic emotions! I was sitting in the pool holding our beautiful 3.75kg baby girl. Phil was trying to get a photo. Mum was amazed at becoming a grandmother and Melanie had everything under control. We wrapped the baby in a warm towel and 10 minutes later Melanie assisted me to deliver the placenta. The sun has risen on what is the start of a wonderful new life !! We all had breakfast together and celebrated the events of the day. Through it all Melanie had been a tower of control and reassurance. Mum and baby just look fantastic and rest to take it all in. From the moments of crying with pain we all now cry for joy!!! Week 42-46 Melanie visited us every day for the first week and gradually less often for the rest of the month to check on Manon and myself. Melanie also organised all paper work and administration. Eventually she also provided us with a file of notes on all the visits and issues discussed and medical notes. This will be a treasure for Manon when she will, one day as we hope, be a mum and tell her birth story. Nice memories to keep. "One of the major benefits we got from booking with Elaine and Melanie was the personal care they gave us as a whole family all the way through, including after our baby was born." "Throughout a long labour, I was strengthened by the utter confidence the midwives had in my ability to give birth." "My first baby had been born by caesarean section and I was desperate to avoid this second time around. By the time my daughter was born I KNEW I had made the right decision for her birth. I wanted loving hands to catch my baby - they couldn't have been more caring. This level of care continued until she was a month old. On the last visit I cried - I felt as if I was losing a friend." "I truly valued the patience and confidence of an experienced midwife who was able to advise and yet ultimately leave the choice with me." "The postnatal care was very important to me: it made me feel cherished and able to focus on my daughter and myself, and to get breastfeeding off to a confident start." "Having a tailored, home-based midwifery service is convenient, comfortable and private. It is good for the whole family, and puts the arrival of a new baby squarely within the context of the family home." "I wanted, and received, complete continuity of antenatal, intrapartum and postnatal care." "I remember mentioning that there were a few things about my first birth I would have liked to have changed. The midwife said that despite best efforts there might well be something that one would want to change - after all, nothing is perfect. In the euphoria after my second son was born I recalled that conversation. I couldn't think of anything I'd have liked to have been different. Two years on, I still can't." "Nothing was taken from me during the entire labour and birth: in fact, reflecting afterwards, I realised I'd felt my own power throughout." "I feel I received the best midwifery care available, and I cannot recommend the services of independent midwives too highly."